


A Life is a Life and a Love is a Love

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, post-ep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 13:51:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13614696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: One Shot that picks up where Episode 5 ended. Eliot and Quentin have a conversation and try to figure things out





	A Life is a Life and a Love is a Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic I have written in probably 15 years. I'm not much of a writer but the Magicians have sucked me in and after the last episode I had to write something. Not betaed

They sat there for what felt like a lifetime. Except not, because now he knew what a lifetime felt like. He remembered everything. He remembered growing old, with Quentin. He remembered their family, their son. He and Quentin had lived a long and full life but more importantly they had lived a long and full life together. 

Hesitantly, he asked “Do you remember everything?”

There was silence. When moments passed without a response Eliot chanced a glance over at Quentin beside him. Quentin didn’t react. Instead he remained silent, staring off into the distance. He waited a few more minutes but when it became clear that Quentin wasn’t going to say anything, Eliot got up in search of wine. If he was going to have to deal with these memories alone, at least he was going to have some alcohol, he thought. 

As he stepped away from the dais, Quentin reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Eliot” Quentin said. 

Eliot stopped and turned again to look at Q but there was nothing more. Q simply looked at him with an indescribable look on his face. When the silent staring got to be too much for Eliot he turned to resume his search for wine. 

____________

Quentin stayed where he was and watched Eliot search the throne room. He wanted to say something to him but he wasn’t sure what he could or should say. He knew he had to say something but he was paralyzed by the fear that he would say the wrong thing and just make the situation even more awkward. He watched as Eliot appeared to find what he was looking for and oh yes there was a flask. He watched as Eliot sat down and began to drain the bottle. 

“Eliot,” he began again, “I –“

Eliot looked up at him from across the room but didn’t say anything. After a few minutes of indecision on his part and drinking on Eliot’s, Q got up and crossed the chamber to join him.

“Yes” he said. “I remember everything. I remember our life. Our family. Our son. But right now, I don’t know what to do with those memories.”

“Who said you have to do anything with them right now?” Eliot asked. “Maybe right now all we need to do is acknowledge them. Acknowledge that it happened and somehow we remember it. Is that really so hard for you?”

“No. Of course not. Because it did happen and we clearly remember it. But it means something and I don’t know what. So I don’t know what to say.” Quentin replied.

“That’s ok Q. You’ve already said all that I needed to hear right now. I just – “ Eliot trailed off.

“Just what?” asked Quentin.

Eliot didn’t respond for a long while. They sat there in silence that maybe should have been awkward but really wasn’t, passing the bottle of wine between them. Eventually Eliot spoke up.

“I don’t want to feel alone in this. We spent our lives together and neither one of us knows what that means for us now but I don’t want to have to figure it out on my own. I – I don’t want to feel alone with this. With remembering us and our family.” 

“You’re not alone Eliot. I’m right here.” Quentin told him. “Whatever this means, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

Eliot smiled up at Q. A little sad, a lot relieved. As if he had honestly been scared that Q would have left him alone to deal with this, these memories.

“Eliot I would never leave you alone. Not with anything but especially not with something like this.” Quentin reassured him.

“I know.”

_________________________________________________________________________________________

The next few days were a bit tense. Eliot was busy with High King business but neither of them wanted to be apart for long so Quentin frequently accompanied him. But for all the time they spent together, they still didn’t talk about their alternate lives. The words that went unsaid built between them until the tension was all too noticeable and Margo got fed up. 

After four days, she locked them both in Eliot’s chambers. 

“Whatever is going on with you two, figure it out!” She yelled through the door. “And quickly because we still have a shit ton of problems out here.”

As her footsteps faded along the corridor, the two men looked at each other. Quentin quickly looked away. Eliot found his way to the table (and the wine) and settled in. As had become standard in recent days, a long silence settled over the two of them.

“What are you struggling to figure out Q?” Eliot asked. He spoke in a whisper but he may as well have shouted for how quiet it was in the room.

“What do you mean?” asked Quentin.

“We said that we both had things we needed to figure out. Like what our lives together then mean for us now. I’ve had time to think it over and I think I understand. But you still seem conflicted. I just wanted to know what you were having questions about.” He explained. “Maybe I could help.”

“What do you mean you have it all figured out? A couple of days to sort through a lifetime and now you have the answers?”

“I love you Q.” Eliot said simply. Quentin gaped at him but Eliot continued on before he could say anything. “You are my best friend, besides Bambi of course, and I love you. Could I fall in love with you? Maybe. I certainly know I did in our alternate lives. I loved you so much and I loved our life together. I got to live a good life. Love someone and be loved in return. Grow old and die happy and peacefully. I got to raise a son. I got to be a father in a way that I never expected. And it was amazing. It was a good life and I am glad that I remember it.”

He paused and looked over at Quentin. Q was still gaping in shock at him and he huffed a laugh.

“I love you Q. And that experience, even just having the memories, means that I know that I will always love you. I can’t say in what way but I know that you will always be important to me. And I think that that is all I really need to know. That I can have a long and happy life like I never thought possible and that I love you and you will always be important to me. What else is there for me to know?” Eliot said. “Now, what is it that you are struggling with so that I can help you?”

With that, Eliot refilled his glass and waited for Quentin. He knew that the other man would likely take some time to process everything he had said and he was content to wait. 

While Eliot sat at the table and drank his wine, Quentin paced around the room, trying to find the words to answer Eliot with.

“We had a life. And it was a good one. Hell it was an amazing life. We had a family and we grew old together and it was everything I have ever wanted.” Quentin eventually said.

When he didn’t continue, Eliot asked, “Then what is the problem?”

“I didn’t know that I wanted that.” Q answered. “I-I’ve imagined my life before. And I’ve wanted a family and to grow old with someone but…”

“But?”

“I don’t know. I always sort of assumed it would be with a woman. I mean I know that I am attracted to both men and women, that’s not news to me. But I guess when I pictured my happily ever after if you will it was always with a woman. And you’re one of my best friends and I love you too but I don’t know I never pictured a relationship like that with you.” Quentin rushed out. He spoke quickly as if he were afraid he wouldn’t say it all if he didn’t say it now.

“Quentin that’s ok. I can’t say I ever pictured my happily ever after with you either and – “

Quentin cut Eliot off, “But I loved it. It was everything to me and right now I can’t imagine anything else happening. I look at you and all I see is our life together. Both the one we had in the alternate lifetime and the one we could have in this lifetime. And I don’t know if it’s because of the other life that I want this. I don’t want to want you just because I did in some other timeline. I want to want you because I love you and because I am in love with you.”

By the time he finished speaking, Quentin had found his way back to the table and was stood across from Eliot. The two men gazed at each other in the silence that followed Q’s declaration. Eventually, Eliot stood up and walked around the table to stand next to Quentin.

“I understand Q. I feel the same. Having lived that life, that full and wonderful life, together, all I want is to do it again here and now. And like you said, I don’t know where those feelings are coming from. But if you remember what I said earlier, I love you and you are important to me. That was true before and it was true then and it is true now.” Eliot said to Quentin. “If you want to try and figure out our feelings for each other here and now, then I am all for it. But I’m going to let you make that decision.”

“Eliot –“

“But know this Quentin Coldwater, whatever happens or doesn’t happen won’t change those two facts. I will always love you and you will always be important to me no matter what form our relationship takes. Ok?”

Quentin nodded. Eliot smiled and leaned in to kiss Q on the forehead. When he pulled back he saw that Quentin also had a smile on his face.

“Ok. Now let’s go tell Bambi that we’ve sorted out our issues.” And with that Eliot turned to go to the chamber door. 

Before he could get further than a few steps, however, Quentin grabbed his arm and turned him back around to face him. Eliot was startled and opened his mouth to ask Quentin what was going on but before he had the chance, Quentin leaned up and kissed him. It was only a quick kiss somewhat reminiscent of their first kiss on their first anniversary.

Pulling back, Quentin said, “I want to try. I love you and I care about you and I can picture our life together here so vividly that I can’t not try. I don’t know how this is going to go or what lies ahead but I want to try. I want us to try and be together.”

Eliot smiled at him and instead of responding, reached out and grasped Q by the back of the neck and pulled him in for another, longer kiss.

“That sounds like a good idea. I’m in.”


End file.
